Taming the Inner Critic with EMDR Therapy in Phoenix
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We all have that voice inside our heads, the relentless critic that seems to never let us catch a break. It picks apart our every move, undermines our self-worth, and keeps us trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and negativity. For some it’s worse than others because they’ve experienced trauma and in fact this cycle of the inner critic can be a trauma response, and an attempt at helping one stay “safe”. It stems from deep-seated beliefs and negative self-perceptions formed in the aftermath of painful experiences.
This negative voice doesn’t come from nowhere. It’s shaped by experiences, especially painful or formative ones. As children, we don’t enter the world doubting ourselves. We cry when we need something. We demand food, comfort, and care. We don’t stop to wonder, Am I being too needy? Or do I really deserve this? But over time, we absorb messages from the people closest to us and the world around us. These messages become belief systems, shaping how we see ourselves and the world—sometimes positively, sometimes negatively, and often as a complicated mix of both.
The good news is that there is hope for quieting this critical voice and finding self-compassion. EMDR therapy, a powerful and evidence-based approach, can help one break free from the grip of the inner critic and pave the way for healing and growth. And there are steps you can take on your own, outside of therapy to help you start shifting out of giving that inner critic the power helping you to tune into your authentic voice. However, EMDR therapy isn’t without its critics. Let’s explore how trauma fuels the inner critic, how EMDR can help, and address some of the common criticisms surrounding this therapy.
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Understanding the Inner Critic
Trauma, whether big or small, disrupts our sense of safety, self-esteem, and trust. It plants the seeds for negative beliefs like:
I'm not good enough.
I don’t deserve love.
Everything is my fault.
I have to be perfect to be of value.
The inner critic keeps these beliefs alive, replaying them like a broken record. It’s in an attempt to “protect” us much in the same way that many survival mechanisms are formed and try to protect us - by keeping us hyper-aware of our flaws or shortcomings to avoid further pain. But instead of protecting us, it holds us back, making it harder to grow, build relationships, and experience joy.
The result?
We second-guess our every decision.
We feel stuck in patterns of self-blame and perfectionism.
We struggle to set boundaries because we feel undeserving of respect.
Our relationships suffer because we fear vulnerability or rejection.
Our mental health takes a hit—leading to anxiety, depression, and burnout.
EMDR Therapy in Phoenix And How It Can Help
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is a structured, research-backed approach that helps process and heal past trauma. Originally developed for PTSD, it has since been shown to be effective for a wide range of trauma-related struggles—including the negative self-beliefs that fuel the inner critic.
During EMDR, a trained therapist helps clients revisit distressing memories while using bilateral stimulation (such as guided eye movements, tapping, or auditory cues). This process reprocesses the traumatic memory so that it loses its emotional intensity, allowing new and more adaptive beliefs to take root.
Over time, the inner critic’s voice weakens. Instead of the automatic thought I always mess up, a person may begin to internalize I make mistakes sometimes, but that doesn’t define me.
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In other words, by engaging in this process we can activate the brain's natural healing processes, helping the brain integrate the information in a more complete way, which helps to turn the volume down on distressing memories and emotions. This helps one to shift the core beliefs that fuel the inner critic, allowing for self-compassion and self-acceptance to take root.
After a therapeutic relationship is established and resources are built, an EMDR therapist helps to guide the individual to focus on specific target memories or beliefs while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation. This process allows for the exploration of the origins of the inner critic and the associated trauma. As the memories are reprocessed, their emotional intensity diminishes, and negative self-perceptions can be replaced with more positive and empowering beliefs and that are far more accurate with reality!
Many clients report:
✅ Less emotional distress tied to past experiences
✅ Improved self-esteem and self-acceptance
✅ Greater emotional resilience
✅ More confidence in setting boundaries
✅ Better ability to quiet the inner critic
But… What About the Criticism of EMDR Therapy?
Despite being recognized as an effective trauma treatment by organizations like the American Psychological Association (APA) and the World Health Organization (WHO), EMDR has faced its share of criticism and skepticism.
Here are some common critiques—and the facts to counter them:
1. "EMDR is just pseudoscience."
The reality: EMDR is backed by extensive research and is considered an evidence-based treatment for PTSD and trauma. Studies have consistently shown that it reduces distress related to traumatic memories, often faster than traditional talk therapy.
2. "It’s just exposure therapy with eye movements."
The reality: While EMDR does involve revisiting traumatic memories, it’s not the same as exposure therapy, which requires clients to repeatedly confront their fears. EMDR focuses on reprocessing memories so they no longer trigger the same distress. The bilateral stimulation component helps activate the brain’s natural healing processes, reducing the emotional charge of past experiences.
3. "There’s no clear reason why it works."
The reality: While researchers are still studying the exact mechanisms, many believe EMDR works by engaging memory networks in a way that allows for adaptive resolution—similar to how the brain processes memories during REM sleep. Just because we don’t fully understand every aspect of how it works doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.
4. "EMDR is only for PTSD."
The reality: EMDR was first developed for PTSD, but studies have shown it is also effective for:
Anxiety and panic disorders
Depression
Phobias
Self-esteem issues and negative beliefs
Complex trauma and childhood emotional neglect
5. "You have to re-experience trauma for it to work."
The reality: EMDR doesn’t require a person to relive every detail of their trauma. The goal isn’t to retell the story but to change how the brain processes and stores the memory. There are also different processing techniques (if you are open to them) that will help you process the material without diving into the deep end of the trauma memory. At the end of the day, we want you to feel safe and secure during the processing, the goal is not to set your nervous system on fire.
What You Can Do to Quiet the Inner Critic Outside of Therapy
Even if you’re not in therapy, you can start to weaken the inner critic by:
🧐 Noticing it. Awareness is the first step. Start recognizing when the critic’s voice takes over and maybe even ask yourself, does this voice remind me of anyone in my past?
📝 Fact-checking it. Ask yourself: Is this belief actually true? What evidence do I have to prove or disprove it? Write it down if needed!
🔄 Reframing it. Instead of I always mess up, try I made a mistake today, but I also handled other things well. I’m learning and growing.
📣 Challenging all-or-nothing thinking. The inner critic loves extremes (I’m a failure, No one likes me). Replace these thoughts with more balanced statements.
🌱 Practicing self-compassion. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Would you tell a friend they’re a failure because of one mistake? No? Then don’t say it to yourself.
Final Thoughts: Healing Beyond the Critic and EMDR Therapy Phoenix and Tempe
EMDR Therapy Phoenix - Kandace Ledergerber.
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The inner critic can be loud, but it doesn’t have to be in charge. EMDR therapy is a powerful tool to help you process and move past trauma, allowing you to cultivate self-compassion and quiet the critic that has kept you stuck.
Criticism of EMDR exists, but the research overwhelmingly supports its effectiveness. If you’ve been battling self-doubt, anxiety, or negative self-talk, therapy might be the missing piece.
If you’re in Phoenix and looking for an EMDR therapist, I offer free 15-minute consultations to see if we’re a good fit. You don’t have to fight the inner critic alone—help is available, and working towards healing is possible and worth it.
