Moving Out of Trauma: Exploring Inner Child Work with Brittany Graniero
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In a recent episode of Moving Out of Trauma I had the pleasure of sitting down with Brittany Graniero, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Florida and a dear friend and colleague. Together, we delved into the fascinating world of inner child work, life transitions, and their profound impact on trauma. This conversation shed light on the importance of acknowledging and healing our inner child, paving the way for a brighter future, although never picture perfect and always a journey. In this blog post, we will explore the essence of inner child work, the manifestation of trauma, the challenges in embracing this transformative journey, and the significant role of therapy in personal growth.
Understanding Inner Child Work
At the heart of the discussion was the concept of inner child work. As Brittany Graniero eloquently put it, this form of therapy entails recognizing and understanding the emotions we experienced as children and how they continue to influence us as adults. Drawing inspiration from the renowned psychologist Carl Jung, inner child work focuses on healing the unconscious aspects of ourselves that carry our childhood experiences and pain. Our inner child remains with us as we grow, and unaddressed wounds can linger, affecting our emotions and behaviors in adulthood.
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The Manifestation of Trauma
Trauma is a multifaceted experience that affects every aspect of our being. Unresolved childhood traumas, such as unmet needs, stifled emotions, and painful experiences, can cast long shadows on our adult lives. Brittany emphasized that while healing doesn't erase the past, it facilitates a path of growth and forward movement. Acknowledging that it is normal to go through difficult experiences, the conversation underscored the significance of accepting and nurturing our wounded selves to embark on a journey of healing.
In my work as an EMDR therapist, I see this all the time. Even the experiences that we “brush off” or think “Oh, it wasn’t that bad!” can still linger and impact us in a traumatic way. One instance I’ve heard shared many times over is this - a child is sitting in the back seat of the car, attempting to get their parent's attention, over and over again the child is asking and then starts getting louder and louder until finally they are yelling. The parent, reacting out of a moment of frustration, exhaustion, overstimulation and stress yells at the child. As the child grows, they go through different experiences with friends, in school, maybe with other family members that reinforce the idea that what they say is not important and start to feel a lack of self-confidence and self-worth. Not one thing in particular was made out to be a big trauma, but it was how the child felt that reinforced the message that they took with them into adulthood and at some point, that child deserves the healing and attention and for their needs to be heard.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”
Challenges in Engaging with Inner Child Work and Finding the Right Approach
Engaging with the inner child can be a daunting prospect for many individuals. Brittany highlighted that some may resist this process out of fear of disrupting their carefully constructed self-image or family dynamics. Additionally, trauma responses, such as the instinct to avoid rocking the boat, can delay one's readiness to confront their inner child. It is essential to recognize that each person's healing journey is unique and that it is okay to take the necessary time to be fully prepared for this transformative process.
Moreover, therapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution. As the conversation pointed out, different therapeutic modalities and approaches can be tailored to an individual's specific needs and preferences. The key lies in finding the right therapist or provider who genuinely connects with you, the client. Open communication is vital in expressing if the therapeutic fit doesn't feel right, and seeking a more suitable approach is encouraged. Providers should always respect a client's readiness for inner child work and never push them beyond their comfort zone.
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How Can I Embrace My Inner Child?
My hope, after this conversation with Brittany, is that anyone who reading/listening may be able to tap into their inner child with a sense of love and care. One way to start practicing this skill today, is to start by asking yourself “What do I need today?” It can even help to imagine yourself as that child, close your eyes and take a moment to see the child that used to be you and ask “What do you need today?” Maybe you need to have a dance party, splash in puddles outside in the rain, or feel embraced in a long hug, whatever it is, go forward with that and start giving that inner child doses of what they need, knowing this is an important part of yourself and deserves your attention and healing too.
Shifting Perceptions about Therapy and The Journey Ahead
The interview challenged common misconceptions about therapy. Contrary to popular belief, therapy is not solely reserved for those with severe problems. Instead, it is an integral part of personal growth and navigating life's challenges. The focus should extend beyond the problems at hand and explore what clients want their lives to look and feel like. Healing from trauma doesn't erase the past, but it can offer a fresh perspective and foster growth.
Conclusion
By acknowledging and understanding the emotions carried forward from childhood, we pave the way for growth and self-discovery. Engaging with the inner child can be challenging, but with the right approach and therapist, it becomes a transformative journey towards healing and empowerment.
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Remember, therapy is not reserved the “biggest” or “worst” traumas but is a tool for personal growth and navigating life's challenges. It empowers individuals to shape the life they desire while embracing their past with compassion and understanding. The road to healing may not be easy, but with the support of inner child work and a skilled therapist, the journey becomes a profound and life-changing experience. You can find more information about Brittany on her website and by following her on Instagram @YourCounselingCorner.
