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Bidding Farewell to 2023 in Phoenix, Arizona

As we bid farewell to one year and eagerly embrace the dawn of another, the air is filled with the palpable energy of new beginnings. New Year's resolutions, like old friends, make a grand entrance into our lives. Yet, for many, this journey is akin to a rollercoaster ride, with highs of determination and lows of frustration. We see time and time again, not just for ourselves but for others, the push to set a “New Year’s Resolution” and the fight to keep it going after March 1st. This makes me stop to wonder if maybe we are missing a golden opportunity for growth and healing, just in a different way than we might have previously thought. In this blog, we explore the dynamics of the resolution dilemma, delve into the unique challenges faced by trauma survivors, and discuss practical tips for setting and achieving S.M.A.R.T. goals. Moreover, we'll shine a spotlight on the transformative potential of EMDR therapy in Phoenix and offer additional tips for trauma survivors navigating the New Year's resolution roller coaster.

The Resolution Dilemma: A Rollercoaster of Determination and Frustration

Every January, countless individuals embark on a mission to transform their lives through resolutions, determined to make them stick this year, unlike the years prior. With determination and a perhaps different mindset, that this year will be different. Only to slip back into the same patterns that they swore they would break several months ago. Whether it's eating healthier, exercising more, picking up a new hobby, or fostering healthier relationships, I’m fully convinced that our intentions are noble and pure. However, the statistics paint a stark reality – a substantial number of resolutions fizzle out by February. Why does this happen, and what can we learn from this pattern? How can we truly make this year different? The psychology behind this phenomenon involves the human brain's natural resistance to change, coupled with the lack of a solid plan, realistic goals, and a support system.

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Understanding the Psychology of New Years Resolutions for Trauma Survivors

To comprehend the plight of New Year's resolutions, we must turn our attention to the intricate web of human psychology, my FAVORITE. Our brains are wired to seek comfort, and change often disrupts this equilibrium. The initial burst of enthusiasm, fueled by the symbolic shift in the calendar, can fade as the novelty wears off. Moreover, the lack of a concrete plan, realistic goals, and a support system can contribute to the unraveling of resolutions. In addition to these factors that make it difficult to stick to resolutions we set, trauma survivors have an additional layer to think about and navigate. For trauma survivors, the path to sticking with these resolutions can be uniquely challenging. Understanding the reasons behind this difficulty sheds light on the complex interplay between past experiences and the pursuit of positive change.

Impact of Past Trauma: Trauma survivors carry the weight of past experiences, often involving betrayal, violation, or intense emotional pain. These experiences can create a deep-seated sense of unworthiness, making it challenging for survivors to believe in the possibility of positive change. The residue of trauma may overshadow the optimism associated with New Year's resolutions.
“Negative” Coping Patterns: Trauma survivors often develop coping mechanisms to deal with their trauma that are not always the most ideal, AND I am a huge believer that that coping mechanism may have what saved their life and or sanity at the time of the trauma. These mechanisms can look like a varied amount of avoidance, procrastination, and even dissociation that served as survival strategies during traumatic periods. Setting and working towards resolutions might trigger a fear of vulnerability or failure, leading to an unintended activation of a psychological defense mechanism rooted in past trauma.
Triggers and Emotional Overwhelm: The process of working towards resolutions can bring up intense emotions for trauma survivors. The fear of failure, the pressure to succeed, or the mere act of confronting challenging aspects of oneself can act as triggers, leading to emotional overwhelm. This heightened emotional state may prompt avoidance or a retreat from the resolution journey.
Lack of Support and Understanding: The importance of a supportive environment cannot be overstated. Trauma survivors may face challenges if their resolutions are met with skepticism or lack of understanding from those around them. A dearth of empathy and support can amplify feelings of isolation and hinder the resilience needed to navigate the ups and downs of resolution pursuits.

While I am certainly biased, I solidly believe that working with an EMDR therapist or a trauma therapist can be extremely helpful in processing these painful experiences safely and effectively, so both your nervous system and brain can shift out of fight or flight that triggers the emotional overwhelm and challenge those old negative patterns formed by trauma, finding patterns and beliefs that are more centered around your authentic self. Working with a professional can also help you determine the “negative” coping patterns you are most likely to use and develop other habits and skills. Lastly, when surrounded by others who don’t feel supported or understood, working with a therapist or coach can help one feel heard and understood and have a supportive and empathetic ear to navigate these struggles as well as find more supportive relationships.

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Tips for Setting S.M.A.R.T Goals for Trauma Survivors

For trauma survivors, the journey of making and sustaining resolutions can be complex, but that does not mean that it’s impossible. While yes past experiences, etched into the fabric of our lives, may cast a shadow on our ability to envision a brighter future, it is still possible because the emotions and experiences of today will not always be the same. After all, knowledge is power. I would encourage you to reflect and figure out what area of struggle is getting in your way when attempting to make changes for yourself. For this reason, working with a therapist or life coach that you click well with can be really helpful to both give you support and to better problem-solve around barriers that might be holding you back.

Start by looking at what you want to achieve in the next year and what the “big” goal that you want to work towards is. Then, break this big goal down into several small goals, which are S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound). Tailoring goals to individual experiences is crucial, making them specific, like practicing mindfulness for anxiety management. Measurable criteria, such as tracking therapy sessions, self-care practices, or the levels of anxiety you feel throughout the week, offer tangible progress markers. Achievable goals balance challenge and realism, while relevance ensures alignment with the unique healing journey. Think about scaling a goal back until you have a tiny sliver that feels both motivating and achievable. If, after you are working on your goal, you realize it is either too big or too small, you can shift the goal. You’ll know that it’s either too big or too small based on the changes you are (or are not) seeing in the measurable criteria. Establishing time-bound frameworks, like practicing daily self-affirmations, creates a sense of urgency. Setting this type of S.M.A.R.T. goal can empower survivors to navigate their healing path intentionally, celebrating small victories and honoring the resilience within.

EMDR Therapy Phoenix as a Catalyst for Change

In the realm of trauma recovery, EMDR therapy can be a powerful ally. Its transformative impact on individuals who have experienced sexual abuse or other traumatic events is well-documented. By addressing the core issues rooted in past experiences, EMDR therapy paves the way for a more resilient and empowered self. Integrating this therapeutic approach into the resolution-making process can offer a unique perspective and enhance the likelihood of success. If you are curious to learn more about how EMDR therapy works or what it is, check out this article. I have seen in both clients and in myself, by using EMDR Therapy, the ability to shift into the beliefs we want to hold for ourselves rather than the negative beliefs that were written by traumatic experiences. While this shift certainly doesn’t happen overnight, it can be a game changer in the healing process.

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Additional Tips Beyond EMDR Therapy for Trauma Survivors on the Resolution Roller Coaster

Seek Professional Support: This one can not be overstated. Enlisting the guidance of a trauma-informed therapist or counselor who can provide a safe space for exploration and goal-setting can be monumental. A professional can help you identify realistic and meaningful resolutions, address underlying fears or triggers, and provide ongoing support as you navigate the challenges that may arise.
Practice Self-Compassion: Approach the process with self-compassion. Acknowledge that the path to healing is not linear, and setbacks are a natural part of the journey. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Embrace the idea that progress, no matter how small, is a significant achievement.
Set Realistic and Attainable Goals: When planning your resolutions, focus on setting small, realistic, and attainable goals. Break down larger objectives into manageable steps. This approach not only makes the process less overwhelming but also allows you to celebrate incremental successes, reinforcing your belief in your ability to effect positive change.
Build a Supportive Network: Cultivate a supportive network of friends, family, or a peer group who understand and validate your journey. Share your resolutions with those who can offer encouragement and empathy. Having a support system can provide a sense of accountability and create a positive environment for growth.
Incorporate Mindfulness Practices: Integrate mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Mindfulness can help you stay present, manage stress, and build resilience. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can be powerful tools for grounding yourself during moments of emotional upheaval and trauma triggers. Mindfulness also fosters self-awareness, allowing you to navigate challenges with greater clarity.

Remember, the journey of New Year's resolutions is deeply personal, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your victories, and learn from any setbacks. Mindful planning and navigating the new year's roller coaster is an opportunity for self-discovery, growth, and the gradual unfolding of your resilient and authentic self.

EMDR Therapy Phoenix - Kandace Ledergerber.
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Connect With Me - An EMDR Therapy Provider in Phoenix

Thank you for taking the time to read my article! My name is Kandace Ledergerber; I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor, EMDR Therapist, dog lover, and first-time mom. I specialize in helping overachievers who struggle with perfectionism and anxiety and have experienced trauma of all kinds find a sense of grounding, re-process that old stuck trauma, and move out of the negative beliefs that have defined them for way too long. If you are ready for a change and to put in the work, please reach out and schedule a free 15-minute consultation where we can explore if we are a good fit for creating the change you are looking for.

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Navigating the New Year's Resolutions Rollercoaster: A Trauma-Informed Approach with EMDR Therapy Phoenix