Family Trauma & Cycles
You don’t have to repeat the patterns you were handed.
Sometimes the hardest wounds to name are the ones passed down quietly—generation to generation. If you grew up walking on eggshells, feeling like your needs were too much, or carrying emotional burdens that weren’t yours to hold, this section is for you. Here, we’ll explore the impact of family dynamics, inherited trauma, and how to break painful cycles with compassion.
You’re not broken—you’re carrying a story that deserves to be seen.
Gaslighting From Caregivers: When You Learned Not to Trust Yourself
Recognizing that a caregiver gaslit you doesn't make them a villain. It makes them a person who passed forward what was done to them. Both things can be true at the same time.
Why Family Trauma Can Make Boundaries Feel Impossible
You knew exactly how you'd hold the line. And then the moment came and something in you just collapsed. If boundaries have always felt impossible in certain relationships, it may not be because you're bad at them. It may be because your nervous system learned, a long time ago, that having needs was dangerous. This post explores why that happens and what it actually takes to start changing it.
How Family Roles Follow Us Into Adult Relationships
Did you learn to keep the peace or hold everything together as a kid? Here's how those family roles follow us into adult relationships, and what healing can look like.
I Have to Fix It — The Lie Trauma Taught You Control Equals Safety
Many trauma survivors develop an automatic urge to fix, manage, or prevent problems before they happen. This isn’t a flaw or personality trait — it’s a nervous system adaptation shaped by environments where safety wasn’t guaranteed. This post explores why control can feel like safety, how fixing becomes exhausting, and how trauma-informed EMDR therapy in Phoenix helps the body learn it no longer has to carry everything alone.
I’m Too Much — The Lie Trauma Taught You to Shrink to Stay Loved
Feeling like you’re “too much” isn’t a personality flaw, it’s often a trauma response shaped by environments where emotional expression didn’t feel safe. This trauma-informed exploration looks at why shrinking becomes a survival strategy and how EMDR therapy helps the nervous system unlearn the belief that taking up space is dangerous.
I Have to Keep Everyone Happy - The Lie Trauma Taught You Love Is Earned
You didn’t learn to keep everyone happy because you’re weak or codependent. You learned it because, at one point, it helped you stay safe, connected, and loved. This post explores how people-pleasing is a trauma response rooted in the nervous system—and how EMDR Therapy in Phoenix can help your body unlearn the belief that love has to be earned.
The Lies Trauma Taught You: How Survival Roles Shape the Way We Show Up in the World
Trauma often teaches us to survive by playing roles — the peacemaker, the fixer, or the quiet one. These patterns once kept us safe, but now they lead to burnout, anxiety, and disconnection. In this three-part series, trauma therapist Kandace Ledergerber, LPC/LMHC, explores how EMDR Therapy in Phoenix and Tempe helps you unlearn these roles, rebuild safety in your body, and reconnect with your authentic self.
Boundaries for Trauma Survivors: A Step-by-Step Guide to Feeling Safe While Setting Limits
Boundaries can feel impossible for trauma survivors, but they’re essential for healing. If saying "no" makes your heart race or guilt creeps in, you’re not alone. Trauma often wires us to prioritize others over ourselves—but you can rewrite that pattern. This guide walks you through why boundaries feel so hard, how to set them step by step, and ways to regulate through the discomfort. Because you deserve relationships that feel safe and sustainable.
Navigating the Holidays Continued - How Past Experiences Mold Our Beliefs and How to Cope This Season
In this blog, we dive into the intricate layers of trauma survival and healing during the holidays. Discover practical strategies and the transformative power of EMDR therapy.
Navigating the Holidays: Unwrapping the Layers of Toxicity and Past Trauma
The holidays can be stressful all on their own, but then bring in family drama, toxicity, and trauma into the mix, and they can be REALLY tough! This blog will cover why this season can be tough for so many AND real things you can do to take care of yourself.
When Trauma Becomes The Norm - It’s Still Traumatizing
My name is Kandace Ledergerber, I am an LMHC and Registered Yoga Teacher in Tampa Florida providing EMDR therapy. With the recent trauma of the shooting in Uvalde Texas, I wanted to take a moment this week to pause and validate some of the many emotions that are coming up for people.
Holiday Stress & Trauma
It’s no surprise that the holiday’s can trigger stress, but did you know it can also trigger past trauma’s too. You are not alone.