You are not alone. Trauma can come from other peoples trauma.
You are the peacekeeper in your family.
The one who has the answers and keeps sh** together. You have a love for your family, AND you know that underneath that love, you often feel taken advantage of, drained, and ultimately need some support of your own.
You know your family may not mean any harm by the things they say, but it doesn’t stop the fact that many of the things they say are hurtful and downright mean. You may even know that their actions have been shaped by their own trauma and childhoods, AND again, that doesn’t mean you deserve that cycle to be repeated to you.
You’re tired of holding space and deserve a space that can be held for you.
It may feel like your family members don’t have a filtration system, but they say precisely what enters their mind, whether it is kind, accurate, or helpful. And at the end of the day, these words sting. You’ve noticed in your life you have a habit of falling into “bad” relationships with more red flags than you can count, but often don’t see the red flags until it’s too late and you are the one left hurting. You know this trickles back to your childhood and the family you have tried to help over the years, but for one of the first times in your life, you may be ready to stop putting up with the red flags and the boundary crossing and start embracing a change for the better! This readiness for healing and change can be an exciting thing. It can also be unnerving, and feeling a little apprehensive is normal.
You are NOT alone.
Let me say that again: I’m here to tell you that you are not alone! Most people who grow up with family members dealing with their own trauma cycles also pick up on some of that trauma because those family members were still actively dealing with trauma. You are not alone, and this is not your fault.
Who I Am and How I Help with EMDR Therapy
EMDR Therapy Phoenix - Kandace Ledergerber.
Photo description: White woman with short curly hair smiling at the viewer in a field with greenery, wearing a navy blue tank top with sunflowers.
My name is Kandace, and I help people who have walked through sticky family traumas and situations to find healing and a sense of balance in their lives, tune into their authentic core, and start engaging with the world around them in a different way so they can set boundaries that make sense for them.
Together, we start by setting up a foundation of resources that work for you so that you can start feeling better in your life and in your relationships right away. As we get to know each other, we work to set boundaries to help you feel good in your daily life and relationships. As you’re ready, we use cutting-edge brain-based science (EMDR therapy) to help you process old wounds tied to your family. This is often times where someone has received the message that they were “not enough,” something was “wrong” with them, or that they were “responsible” for everyone else’s happiness.
With EMDR therapy, we work towards healing the past so you feel less triggered by it in the present, and you can build the type of future you are craving. One where you are not doomed to repeat the same trauma cycles or enter the same “red-flagged” relationships. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation today to see if we are a good fit for the next step in your healing journey.
