Ways to Ease the Perfectionist Mind

Dealing with anxiety and perfectionism can be difficult, and it can show up in different ways. Ultimately, a lot of anxiety comes from our life experiences, and so what might ease anxiety and stress is different for each person. Trauma can also play into and have an impact on our seeking perfectionism or struggling with anxiety. This can be both big T trauma and little t trauma spread out through our lives - but more on that in a later post. 

Question the anxiety and perfectionism

Sometimes being able to recognize when we are seeking perfection can help stop it in its tracks. Take a beat to pause and asking “Is this a realistic expectation?” and if you can take it a step further and ask, “Can I be kinder to myself in this expectation?” or “What do I actually want?” If it’s hard to ask yourself these things, consider thinking about it in terms of if someone you loved dearly was in your shoes, with this idea of perfection in mind, and you could ask them those questions.

Accepting and Asking

Sometimes it almost can feel like perfectionism, and anxiety takes on a life of its own. What would happen if you consciously decided to edge closer to that feeling and then were mindful about how it made you feel. For example, actively choosing to pursue trying to be “perfect” in a certain way and realizing afterward what you think and feel, do you feel guilt, exhaustion, more anxiety? What do you feel in your body? Do you feel more stress or tension? Sometimes making the active choice and being mindful about how it impacts us can help us take back some of our own power so we can make kinder choices for ourselves. 

Mindful of the Past and Present - Being Curious about Past Trauma

Practicing being mindful of when perfectionism rears its ugly head can be helpful. If you can ask yourself, “Where did this belief come from? When did I first feel this way?” Also, noticing when it comes up most in day-to-day life (at work, around family, body image, etc.) can be helpful. Noticing what triggers it and when it feels most intense, all of these can help you have better awareness as you seek out healing for yourself.

Seek out Help for Perfectionism, Anxiety and Trauma

There are many therapies out there and many therapists. They can be helpful when facing anxiety, perfectionism, and trauma, among many other things. It can be challenging battling a war within yourself, and having a teammate in your corner can be helpful. Personally, I am a huge fan of CBT and EMDR for anxiety and perfectionism, as CBT can help with the day-to-day life events we encounter while EMDR helps to process the past and build you up into the future.

Have questions about EMDR therapy in Tampa? Or maybe you are looking for someone who provides EMDR therapy in Florida. If you’re looking for an anxiety therapist in Tampa, or if you want to speak with someone about seeking out help, contact me today to set up a free 15-minute consultation. If I am not a good fit for you and your needs, I’m happy to listen and determine who you might be an excellent fit to refer you to.